I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
