You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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