Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
