How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
