It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
