ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Mom said you looked used
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
