I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
