Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
