Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
