I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
