It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
