so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
