They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
