i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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