fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize