sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
