i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
