So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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