There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
