check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
