He kissed a someone with a penis
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
