Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
