I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
