Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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