Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
