Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
