You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize