Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
