In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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