Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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