i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If I die, sorry about rent.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
