don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I enjoy the company of your penis
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