ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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