Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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