you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
