I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
