Pappa wants mamma naked
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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