she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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