4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
