genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
