i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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