so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
