Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
FUCK WHALES
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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