he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
