i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
