the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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