dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just pee around me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
