your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
