I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
