I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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