Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
