Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
