At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it hurts more in the daytime
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
