just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
