I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
