would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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