it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
