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• (415): View more from California

  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

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• (917): View more from New York City

  im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.

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• (637): View more from

  I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.

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• (470): View more from Georgia

  You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??

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• (425): View more from Washington

  VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN

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• (425): View more from Washington

  We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative

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