So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
