I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
