The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
