I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
