Pregnant stripper...not hot.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize