So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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